For a while by then I had been getting ideas in my head about being with a man. It was just something that excited me. I had been on chat sites, had looked at Craigslist, everything to feed to my fantasy. But one night I went a step further.I had just told my girlfriend I was going to sleep, so we hung up and I got my phone and started looking at all the usual sites. I don't know why, but that night I was especially horny. After a bit of looking I found an ad on CL that caught my attention. A man offering massages to men. I swiped and saw he had a nice long thick cock. He was a bit shorter than me (I'm 6'2) maybe around 5 foot 10, Latin American, and seemed to be in good shape. I didn't know what to do, I wanted to see if I could get this somewhere, but I didn't feel right about it having a girlfriend. So I did what any horny guy would do; I rationalized it. I took a quarter and told myself "heads three times in a row and I'll message him." Well guess what? Heads. Heads. Heads.I. And that was that. It was the beginning of the beginning. We told no one about our relationship and fucked like there was no tomorrow, because there was no tomorrow.It was intense. We purchased sex toys, shagged outside. I fucked her up the arse. We watched porn. We smoked dope. We booked a parachute jump. We went to Iceland: Glaciers. Volcanoes. Myths. Back home: Restaurants. Films. Music concerts.Life was good. Life was fantastic. But I have to be honest, I don’t think I ever really loved her.And then the beginning of the beginning became the beginning of the end - the cancer returned. And this time it was terminal.The last time I shagged her was two weeks before she died. She was thin and frail but I still made her come. I was with her every day before she passed away. Her brother came over from South Africa and various friends turned up. They all thanked me for what I’d done. Well, not everything I’d done – I couldn’t tell them that.I was there in the early hours when she.
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